Thursday, March 3, 2011

(Exclusive) Clearing Up Celebrity Cougar Foolishness

Hear Her Roar (THE BOSS)
Shaunie O'Neal (ex-wife of NBA star Shaquille O'Neal) reigns supreme in the hierarchy of the cougar kingdom for a few reasons mainly because she is choosing cougary as her prerogative rather than a desperation shot from behind the 3 point line like some of her contemporaries.  Look this woman has had the marriage and the kids and is financially stable.  Her hit VH1 show Basketball Wives will become her franchise and tie down any financial loose end if any exists.  If she has no aspiration for marriage in the near future who can blame her for enlisting the servicing of a young, scrapping buck for his 24 year old "beat down" and arm trophy services.  Bottom-line, Shaunie is a certified "Boss" in the cougar kingdom and appears to be very in touch with her status.  She's not playing games with herself or anyone else with regards to what she wants and gets out of the relationship, she's "crystal" on this point, so hear this MILF roar. 

We Get It
Now this is pure speculation/observation but Nick Cannon and Mrs. Cannon are truly in love.  Let's face it Nick Cannon by all societal measures is a serious "catch" in not just the black community but the world community.  Most women and some men would chew something off (you decide) for a shot at his title.  Why else would a 29 year old, successful, high profile, black male retire his player card to 11 years his senior Madame Butterfly?  One word "love".  Will this be his only marriage is debatable especially with Mariah's tendencies towards being "extra".  It's just not a good look for a middle aged mother of twins to sport the tight booty shorts on roller skates while singing the jiggle for Bubbas Car Wash but someone has to do it and Mrs. Cannon is known to make application for such jobs.  Her cougar card is very understandable and we get it because clearly that "clock" was ticking like "Big Ben" and Nick was willing to sign up for her course in "how extra can one woman be" for that we have to celebrate and enjoy their happiness. 
Now as for Vivica A. Fox 46, she might want to consider legally changing that name to "Vivica A. Fool"  because that's all she's going to be hearing as she walks down the street with her homecare aid/fiancĂ© Omar Whatever 27.  Seriously Ms. Fox this move is not a good look for you or any woman contemplating cougardom because it just simply feels desperate and we feel sorry for you. Ladies looking to go cougar don't be confused a true cougar is in control and not compromising on her real motivations.  If you're looking to get married (one that will last), have children, etc., by no means follow in Vivica's paw steps especially if you've never been married.  This Omar kid has everything to gain and nothing at risk in this scenario.  She's putting him on the map and he has pretty much said it himself.  Granted her career hasn’t been kicking ass as of late with her leading roles in high school type productions but come on Vivica "do you think Malcolm X died so you could look like a chump?"  Rule of thumb for ladies on the brink of cougarville, if you are 35 plus years old wanting marriage and kids don't even think about going cougar because it is a one way road to a dead end where you might find Vivica A. Fool and Omar Whatever getting it on in the back seat of a minivan.  Not good, continue with caution.