First things first let me say congrats to Mo’nique on the Oscar win for "Best Supporting Actress", 2010. I’ve just become a super-sized Mo’nique fan for more reasons than the Oscar win. I must preface everything I’m about to say and admit that I’ve never really been a fan at all. In the past I felt her standup routines were pushed, over the top and stocked with unnecessary nasty fillers substituting for comedic talent. I’m not an entertainment expert so push my opinion of the routine aside.
I love her now for her commitment to living and being on her own terms. I never do this but I went out of my way last night to record her much talked about Barbara Walters Special interview. The interview started a buzz after Barbara plugged the Oscar night interview on her daytime talk show “The View”. During the plug Barbara mentioned that Mo’nique has an open marriage that would not end because her husband had sex outside of the marriage. Well because I’m suspicious when the media uses sound bites as a means of promotion I had to see it for myself and I must say the spot earned Mo’nique major cool points with me and was “as advertised”.
There are three reasons I love Mo’nique right now, first and foremost I admire when people find the strength to boldly live in the truth of who they are and make no apologies. Man or woman it doesn’t matter because when you can tap into that I think you can experience freedom/life in a unique way.
The second reason she’s getting these cool points is the way she’s handled herself with the media from red carpets to her acceptance speeches. She has clearly displayed authentic humility even though she’s from the “B-more” and she’ll “cut a bitch”. She is grounded and not changed by the Hollywood B.S.; just check her swagger as she hits the red carpet with hairy legs. Indifferent to all the media fallout, she hasn’t switched it up to suit flip floppy mainstream interest. She’s rooted in being authentic and real.
Finally her candid disclosure of the personal marital contract to the public deeply struck me as inspiring and something worthy of envy by others involved in committed relationships and marriages. Through years of life experience and disappointment Mo’nique has applied a level of wisdom uncommon in the world today. Because of her willingness to be absolute and not selective in her application of truth she has opened up a level of intimacy in her marriage/relationship that has wowed the hell out of me. I hear you out there saying “of course every man would love the Mo’nique setup”, a license to openly partake in a sex on the fly agreement. Well I’m going to say yes, there are plenty of men and women that if given that option would take it. However, I believe what people really want is the freedom to be their authentic selves without fear of judgment or rejection. People want to experience that more because it’s more intimate and last a lot longer than the occasional split/hit/forget with a “jump off.” Let’s face it, many of you are already in an arrangement where he/she will take the occasional hit and run whether you agree with it or not. Yet you are powerless to make a decision about it because you fear the “truth”. In your relationship are you truly your authentic self? Is your partner his/her authentic self? How do you know? Or was Mo’nique’s interview a PR strategy? Black American Opinion
